funny

     Ok it's officially cold. The temp is 0 degrees outside right now. I don't have any great stories to tell you. It has been fairly quiet latley. I think the temp is helping us out on this one. I decided to grab a funny police story to share.

 

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no - he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back - and they run down the street to the robbery.

The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that his is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license.

They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find: the police car, lights still flashing.

 

Hope you enjoyed that one.

Life happens

All right, I know it’s been a long time. Things have been strange around here lately. Nothing that I can put my finger on but strange none the less. The eye surgery has gone well. The first week was hard, but I’m seeing pretty well now, and I like not having to worry about contacts anymore.

My wife has spent the last few weeks working like crazy. There was some upset at work, and her boss quit. She has been trying to do her job and his for a while now. I hardly see her anymore. I sure hope they get someone hired soon. It’s really strange, I’m the kind that is waiting around for her to come home, and I’m excited to see her, but then when she walks in, I can’t show that I’m happy to see her. I don’t know why, but I guess it’s a hide my emotions kinda thing.

Work for me has been interesting. They have posted the position of Sgt. So someone is moving up in ranks. I have the qualifications to apply, but I know it’s not my turn yet. There are two that have applied. One of them is a detective. I am waiting to see who gets it, because if the detective gets the Sgt. Position I plan on applying for the detective slot. I think I would really like that job, but at the same time I’m pretty apprehensive. Always hard to move out of your comfort zone I guess.

Anyway, I will try to keep this updated a little better.

LASIK

LASIK surgery, if you don't know what it is, well it's when they burn your eyes with Lasers in hopes that you will be able to see better afterwards. I just recently had this done. I was told by many many people that it was a breeze, and you would be able to see the moment you got out of the building. They said you would be light shy for a while but other than that you would be great.

 

 

It has been one week since I had it done; my vision is almost back to 100 percent. I still have to put some drops in my eyes that make it hard for me to focus. Tomorrow I stop taking those drops so I hope that my vision will be great. The surgery itself kind of sucked, but I suppose as surgeries go it was pretty easy. They put this clamp on your eye, and tighten it up so that you can't close your eye. Kind of hurts, then they put this suction cup thing on your eyeball, and then cut the top layer off of your eye. They pull that back and they begin burning your eye with the laser. It's a bit unnerving when you realize you can smell your eyeball burning. Smells kind of like burnt flesh. When I stood up from the LASIK, It looked like someone had put a sheet of that really thick plastic in front of me. I couldn't see very well at all. The rest of that day my eyes hurt, but the next day they felt pretty good, and now they feel really good.

 

The bad thing for me is my eyes were so bad they have already told me that I would need to come back in and have this done again. I guess if your adjustment is too high, it will require a touch up surgery to make sure you don't need glasses again.

Some things you should know about cops....

I stole this from MisPig's site, I thought it was so good, I wanted to post it here. (ok so i asked her first)

 

This was sent to me in an email....ENJOY!  Its true

 

 

 

What everyone should know about cops... Some useful info about 
cops........and some funny as well
  
 1- When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and 
sirens on, pull to the RIGHT,  and Stop. We are usually required to 
pass cars on the left.

 2- When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind 
you, don't go 5 mph under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how 
safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch 
that guy in the SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let 
us pass please.

 3- If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, 
go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

 4- When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a 
suspect in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him 
and ask for directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice 
when he tells you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take 
the time to explain.

 5- If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and 
sometimes we get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off 
[without pay] for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart?

 6- If you think you can fan all the pot smoke out of the car before 
we smell it, good luck.

 7- We know you've had more than 2 beers. When I've had two beers, I 
didn't hit six parked cars or drive my car through the front doors of 
a Toys-R-Us, pissed my pants, or passed out at a traffic light.

 8- Here's how to get out of a ticket. DON'T BREAK THE LAW.

 9- If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over.

 

10- In one week, I pulled over 10 cars for minor equipment violations:

5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance.
3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses.
2 out of 10 had warrants.
1 out of 10 had felony warrants.
1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the 
   car without her mother's knowledge.

11- If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet 
the officer with "what seems to be the problem, officer".

12- We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and 
do some shopping during them.

13- When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend 
waiting for the officer to find the model numbers and the serial numbers of 
the stuff that was taken.

14- Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other 
cops don't like them either.  

15- If it's nighttime and you're driving a vehicle with tinted 
windows and I pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I 
usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver un til the windows are
rolled down.

16- Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a 
crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is 
running TOWARD that crazed gunman.

17- Yes, it's true; cops usually don't give other cops tickets. 
Think of it as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other cops are 
family and you wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop 
either.

18- If your local police agency has a helicopter, everyone knows 
it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 
15-20 patrol officers, and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 
MPH through city streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there 
and slows down.

19- Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 y ear old 
kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the 
police.

20- If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not 
the answer for a uniformed parent.

21- Police work is...writing reports.

22- If you rob a gas station you're only going to get $20, but I get 
to see a K-9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can 
keep the $20.

23- In 1 year of patrol work in a large city only about 10 minutes 
would be cool enough to be on the television show, COPS. But if COPS 
was about report writing and accident reports, each show would be a 
year long.

24- Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be 
polite and professional until that time.

25- I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for 
domestic violence, so NO it's not always the man.

26 -People love fire fighters. WHY?

27- If you find crack pipes in the ladies purse, there is a good 
chance they belong to her.

28- If the light WAS yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

29- Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. 
Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey; this 
traffic stop is on me. Now sign here; press hard, there are five 
copies.

 

 

 

Where do poeple think they are going when they run?

            I’m just curious what goes through peoples minds when they run from the cops. Ok so here is the situation. I get called to a residence about a lady that won’t leave. I will call her Dodo just because. When we get there Dodo decides she doesn’t want to talk to us so she gets in her car and takes off. I of course follow her, and then attempt to make a traffic stop. Well Dodo decides that she really doesn’t want to talk to me so she just keeps driving. Well now we are in a pursuit. She is not speeding, she just won’t stop. Another officer gets in front of her with lights and siren blaring. He tries to get Dodo to stop by boxing her in. Dodo apparently decides this is a good time to try to go around the other officer, so she tries to go around. She just about hit the other officer so he finally lets her by. I get back in behind Dodo, and we continue to follow her with the lights and sirens.

            At this point I’m thinking Dodo must be really stupid. We keep following her, not at high speed or anything. I’m trying to figure out where she thinks she is going. Anyway she runs a lot of stop signs, and is lucky no one was coming too fast down the streets. She then pulls into her driveway, and stops. I guess she figures that if she makes it home we will just let her go… OK well she’s home lets just leave her alone now. NOT!

            We end up dragging her out of her car, and taking her to jail. Now here is the kicker. When she did finally stop, and we made it to her car door, I realize there is a 7 month old baby in a car seat, but not buckled in. The baby is screaming, and I’m appalled that she put her baby in this kind of danger. We charged her with endangering a child, and eluding. This hasn’t gone to court yet so I can’t tell you any details, but I bring it back to … Where in the hell did she think she was going to go. If she had simply pulled over when I first attempted to stop her she would have not been charged with anything. She would have simply been told to stay away from the property that she had originally been at.

Back from the Fair

     Ok so I'm back from the State Fair. It was a long long week. I was teamed up with a guy from another city. We made more arrests than any other team out there. I don't know how many arrests but we got 5 or so a day. The Lynard Skynard concert brought in a rough crowd. We had several fights that night. There is nothing like pushing your way through a jam packed crowd, and then trying to stop 10,000 idiots from fighting. We grabbed the main aggressor, and started out of the crowd, I ran over a few people on the way out.

     We made a lot of arrests for minor consumption, and a lot for underage tobacco as well. eight days away from your family is a long time though. I was so excited  to get home and see my wife, and my son. I'm not sure they were so excited to see me. I guess i was gone on a hard week for my wife. Anyway it was good, and the paycheck will be better.

Fair Time

     Once again I'm off to go work at the State Fair, as security. It's 8 days of 16 hour days. The pay isn't that great but after working that many hours I should do ok. I believe the two concerts this year are Lynard Skynard, and Sara Evens. The concerts should be pretty tame. I don't think Lynard Skynard will have a too many trouble makers, and Sara Evans will probably have a lot of cowgirls.

     Anyway, it should be interesting. I think it's Jeff Foxworthy that said if you want to feel better about yourself just go to the State Fair, I definatly understand what he means by this. There are some very scary looking people that go to the state fair.     I willl give a full report when i get back, and if i am able to get internet while i'm there maybe I will even update while I'm there.

 

 

On another note, there was a shooting of two probations officers, and one Police Officer not far from my area. From what the news has said the three officers are going to be ok, and the bad guy was shot and killed. I don't have any more info than that, here is a link to the new vid.

 

 

 

News video of shooting

http://www.localnews8.com/news/local/3788582.html