I found this on another site, and just had to share it. I thought it was pretty funny. Sorry about the all caps.
NARRATIVE:
ON 07/08/07, AT APPROXIMATELY 0326 HOURS, I WAS TRAVELING
NORTHBOUND IN THE 6100 BLOCK OF N. COLLEGE AVE. IN MY FULLY MARKED
IMPD POLICE VEHICLE AND IN FULL UNIFORM. I HAD MY WINDOWS ROLLED
DOWN. I HEARD A MALE VOICE CALLING FOR A PIG, HE WAS SAYING 'SUEY!
PIGGY! PIGGY!' I LOOKED OVER AND OBSERVED THREE WHITE MALES AND A WHITE
FEMALE WALKING SOUTHBOUND ON THE EAST SIDE OF N. COLLEGE AVE. ONE OF
THE WHITE MALES WEARING BLUE JEANS AND A LIGHT COLORED BUTTONED UP
SHIRT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME WITH RED GLASSY BLOODSHOT EYES AND SAID,
'SUEY PIGGY, PIGGY.' I WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MAN
HAD LOST HIS PIG AND THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ROAMING AROUND IN THE
BROAD RIPPLE AREA SO I DECIDED TO STOP AND ASSIST HIM, BECAUSE I KNOW
HOW DEVASTATING A LOSS OF PET CAN BE. I IDENTIFIED THE WHITE MALE
SUBJECT FROM AN INDIANA DRIVER'S LICENSE AS JAMES ADAM MCGRATH, DOB
1/22/82. WHILE I WAS SPEAKING WITH MR. MCGRATH ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE LOST
PIG, I SMELLED A STRONG ODOR COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALCOHOLIC
BEVERAGES ON HIS BREATH AND PERSON. HIS SPEECH WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY
SLURRED. I PLACED MR. MCGRATH UNDER ARREST FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION AND
HE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE APC BY A MARION COUNTY JAIL WAGON. I SEARCHED
THE ENTIRE BROAD RIPPLE AREA AND
UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO LOCATE ANY LOST PIGS. ALL OF THE ABOVE OCCURRED IN MARION COUNTY, INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.
NARRATIVE:
ON 07/08/07, AT APPROXIMATELY 0326 HOURS, I WAS TRAVELING
NORTHBOUND IN THE 6100 BLOCK OF N. COLLEGE AVE. IN MY FULLY MARKED
IMPD POLICE VEHICLE AND IN FULL UNIFORM. I HAD MY WINDOWS ROLLED
DOWN. I HEARD A MALE VOICE CALLING FOR A PIG, HE WAS SAYING 'SUEY!
PIGGY! PIGGY!' I LOOKED OVER AND OBSERVED THREE WHITE MALES AND A WHITE
FEMALE WALKING SOUTHBOUND ON THE EAST SIDE OF N. COLLEGE AVE. ONE OF
THE WHITE MALES WEARING BLUE JEANS AND A LIGHT COLORED BUTTONED UP
SHIRT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME WITH RED GLASSY BLOODSHOT EYES AND SAID,
'SUEY PIGGY, PIGGY.' I WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MAN
HAD LOST HIS PIG AND THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ROAMING AROUND IN THE
BROAD RIPPLE AREA SO I DECIDED TO STOP AND ASSIST HIM, BECAUSE I KNOW
HOW DEVASTATING A LOSS OF PET CAN BE. I IDENTIFIED THE WHITE MALE
SUBJECT FROM AN INDIANA DRIVER'S LICENSE AS JAMES ADAM MCGRATH, DOB
1/22/82. WHILE I WAS SPEAKING WITH MR. MCGRATH ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE LOST
PIG, I SMELLED A STRONG ODOR COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALCOHOLIC
BEVERAGES ON HIS BREATH AND PERSON. HIS SPEECH WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY
SLURRED. I PLACED MR. MCGRATH UNDER ARREST FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION AND
HE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE APC BY A MARION COUNTY JAIL WAGON. I SEARCHED
THE ENTIRE BROAD RIPPLE AREA AND
UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO LOCATE ANY LOST PIGS. ALL OF THE ABOVE OCCURRED IN MARION COUNTY, INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.
I\'m going to let some of my Troopers read this. These days they could use a good laugh. Some of their incident reports are worthy of a medal, especially the DUI\'s. I guess people really are that stupid and crazy.
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